Hey, Look. I Found A Bee Flip.

See you in another five years!

Blog Update Time.

Okay, so a lot of readers have been noticing that this blog isn't updated very frequently. The truth is that there is rarely any new developments in either the Bee Flip or Beef Lip industries. They are both very seasonal and steady in their respective growth.

Subscribers to "Bee Flip Weekly" Magazine often grouse about the recycled articles about Bee Flips. People who tune in to channel 400 in Portland, Oregon complain about how the Beef Lip News Network is simply a video loop of a chimp banging two gas cans together.

Rest assured, as soon as there are any new items in either category, you'll hear it here FIRST.

Seacrest out.

Fun facts about Beef Lips that you probably didn't know:

• They're edible!

• Cows use them to whistle at other cows!

• Those little nubby parts on the inside? They're fucking NASTY.

• You can try to IM Beef Lips, but they will rarely respond.

• Beef Lips are considered valuable currency in the country of Biflippia. So are Bee Flips, but they are much harder to collect.

• This blog is fucking stupid, but whatever, right.

An Exclusive Interview?

A friend of mine heard about this website and told me he knew of a person named "B.F. Lipps" and wanted to know if I'd interview them for the blog.

I said no.

People are mean. :(

So, the other day I was at a cafe enjoying some gazpacho soup (cool, and summery!) when some guys ran up to my table and said, "Holy cow! There are bees outside doing flips! You should go get a picture for your blog!" (The blog is getting famous, it seems.) So out I run, but when I get there? No flipping bees. No bees of any kind, really. Boo! I go back in to finish my lunch, but they guys had taken over my seat, and then one of them flung the gazpacho in my face, which burned quite badly, as they had had the waiter heat it up while I was outside. Who would do such a thing to me, or the gazpacho!?!?!!?

Serendipitous

So there I am, eating my favorite cut of meat, beef lips, when outside the window I see a few bumblebees pollinating some nearby flowers. One of the bees hovers by the window as I take a bite, and it actually, literally DOES A FLIP!!!!!

What are the fucking odds? I'm frightened.

So Embarassing!!!!

I went to the butcher shop today to get my favorite thing ever (hint: it rhymes with "BEEF LIPS!!!") and when I asked the butcher for some beef lips he looks at me all weird and he's like "What do I look like?? Some kind of bee trainer? How do you get a bee to do flips?" Okay, so, then he turned, like, 87 shades of red because he realized his mistake (I was asking for *beef lips*) and he gives me an extra beef lip (YUM!) and tells me not to tell anyone what happened. And I was like, "FUCK YOU, OLD MAN! I'LL PAY FULL PRICE BECAUSE I'M TELLING *EVERYONE* ABOUT YOUR HIGHLY-EMBARASSING GAFFE!"

Beef lips!